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2025
March
2024
January
February
March
May
July
August
September
- Still laughing at myself over this. I was watching the incredible USC vs LSU football game on Sunday night, and when USC scored their game winning touchdown, I celebrated so hard my watch thought I took a hard fall. 🤣🤣🤣
- My marigolds died.
- My first football game is in a few hours, and I am nervous. Should be fun, though!
- I came home last night with a few boxes sitting by my front door. They contained some comic books I am super eager to read soon:
- I love the new update to iA Writer, but this little tidbit has me super excited:
- After a welcome lull, the skies are thick with fire smoke again. A friend of mine found ash on his car this morning. My allergies went haywire last week, and a day after of clean breathing, they’re acting up again. I need to buy more tissues.
- Finished watching the new Apple Event presentation this morning, and I’m now a few grand poorer. I bought the iPhone 16 Pro Max in black titanium and the Apple Watch Ultra 2 also in black titanium. Along with that, I bought Peak Design’s Everyday Case because I love their mobile product line. I’m set until 2027 or so.
- According to court documents, Lawrence waived his Miranda rights and told investigators, “I’m toast anyways I guess, so, yeah I did it.”
- Game 2 of my first year coaching football season begins later this afternoon, and I am less nervous than I was last week. We had a good week of practice and now it’s time to see what worked and what didn’t work. Let’s go.
- Our second game went really well. Many improvements over last week, many things still to work on. I love seeing the progress our boys are making.
October
- From Tuesday, about an hour before our fourth game of the season. It was a tough one, but I think it was a turning point for everyone. Our boys fought from start to finish, and we all became stronger by the end. I love these boys and I’m proud to be their coach.
- On Tuesday, we ended our 2024 middle school football season with a win. I am going to miss everything about this season, from seeing my boys every day, to traveling with them, to game days. I’m so grateful for everything. See you guys again next year.
- Some things currently on my mind: Focus on being a good adult Keep a clean home Take care of myself Hang out with friends Be a part of the community Be a good influence
- I already miss it.
- Just When I Thought I Was Out
- Stop it with the excuses. Stop it with the mental dishonesty. Push myself until I cry. Push myself until my body can’t take it anymore. Push myself until I see the white light at the end of the tunnel.
- If I manage to live as long as I am expected to live as an American male in the year 2024, then I have about 12,000 days left to live. My focus at this moment is to live better today than I did yesterday, and if I manage to do that for every one of the 12,000 days I have left, then I think I can live a full life.
November
- Proud moment yesterday: at the district volleyball tournament, I brought my two cameras so I could take photos of our girls when a sixth grader asked me if she could use my camera to take photos, and I said sure. She wants to be a photographer, she said, so I gave her my camera and showed her how to use it. Later, another girl asked me if she could use my camera to take photos of our girls, and I said sure! She loves photography, she said, so I gave her my second camera and showed her how to use it. For the next two hours or so, they went out and shot photos while I got to enjoy the game. I was so proud (and a little nervous), but I loved that they wanted to take photos! And they did: they filled up my SD cards and drained my batteries!! 😂
- I helped coached my first set of middle school boys basketball games today, and I have to say, I had loads of fun! I didn’t play basketball growing up and I didn’t know much about the game before I signed on to help coach, but after a few weeks with these boys and coach Pederson, I’m beginning to enjoy and maybe even love this game. I’m excited for the rest of this season!
2023
January
February
March
May
June
August
September
October
2022
February
March
April
June
July
August
- A Nice End to My Summer
- Yesterday, I changed pipe for the first time, I drove an ATV for the first time, and I got to hang out with some cows for the first time. Now this definitely caps off my pretty good summer.
- Yesterday, I went on one last hike before the end of my summer.
- My favorite little 3rd grader ran up to me after school and said, “Hi Mario.”
September
October
- A beautiful morning.
- Going Corn Chopping
- A Day in the Life. Donating blood at around 1pm in western Montana.
- To celebrate their 40th Anniversary, Library of America has reduced the prices for 40 of their boxed sets by 40% or more. I shouldn’t have, but I bought the complete novels by Kurt Vonnegut. Who doesn’t love Kurt Vonnegut?
- Climate Change to Produce More Rainbows
November
- National Blog Posting Month
- It Starts Here
- An Attempt
- Admitting I Make Mistakes, and That's Okay
- Architects and Gardeners
- What Is My Best Writing?
- Old Tools and New Tools
- Zero Draft
- A Matter of Perspective
- Bought Some More Music
- Notes for November 11, 2022
- Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
- Clean Air
- Something Adorable
- 15 Good Ones Will Do
- Literally Advanced Civilization
- Creating My Own MTV Music Channel
- Notes for November 18, 2022
- This Is Just Life
- No Perfect Days
- Cold and Dreary
- 101 Films
- Slept In
- Grateful for the Small Things
- Notes for November 25, 2022
- On Spider-Man, a Friend, and a Broken Heart
- Sunday Appreciation: Headspace
- Friendly Competition
- Kneecap Magician
- NaBloPoMo 2022 Recap
December
- Notes for December 2nd, 2022
- Bandcamp Friday
- 5,000 Minutes Meditated
- Using My Bookshop Store Page as a Reading Log
- A Simple Shortcut to Scan Book Barcodes and Search for Them on Bookshop
- Notes for December 9th, 2022
- Holy Shit. I'm Totally Speechless.
- Más Libros
- Notes for December 16th, 2022
- I Needed This Kick in the Ass
- 34
- My 2022 MLB.TV Recap
- Possible Threat to Life or Property
- Year in Reading: 2022
- I’ve Spent How Much on Music?!
- Goodbye 2022
2021
January
- Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021
- I wasn’t looking forward to returning to work today, but my favorite little 1st grader ran up to me and gave me a big big big hug as soon as she saw me. And now I feel great!
- I’ve been sore every day for the past week, but the last few days have been more painful than normal. I’m on week two of T25: Beta, and on Saturday, I did my first Apple Fitness+ workout. It was a 20 minute HIIT workout with Bakari, then I did two mindful cooldowns with Jessica. Fitness+ is really slick and well-produced, and the trainers are very charismatic and personable. My Beachbody On Demand subscription doesn’t end until October, though, so I’ll enjoy my three month trial of Fitness+ and evaluate it later.
- I have to remember that I’m not as young as I used to be. I can’t keep pushing myself so hard and expect to bounce back like I used to. That’s how I hurt myself last time! Slow down and remember that this isn’t a race.
- Once Upon a Time, There Was America
- I bought my first capo and tried it out for the first time yesterday. Intellectually I knew what a capo was for, but it wasn’t until I clamped it down and played a few chords that I truly understood what it did. It’s incredible! I’m eager to learn new songs with it now.
- I filled seven notebooks in 2020. This week, I scanned and processed them on my computer.
- Woke up early to run some errands and was awarded with a beautiful sunrise. I used Apple ProRAW and my god, what an incredible tool to have when I’m out and about with just my iPhone. I was able to bring out the pinks and the shadows in a way I couldn’t before.
- My favorite 1st grader ran up to me and gave me a hug. She wore a black jacket, and she placed her arm beside mine and said, “We’re wearing the same color.”
- Books and music. What else do I need?
- My daily routine, as of today, so I can remember it later:
- Like McCarthy, Rooney doesn’t use quotation marks for dialogue. I like that. Simplify the English language to just periods, commas, and question marks, and maybe an exclamation point here and there.
- A sketch I did a few years ago. I want to start drawing again, but I keep finding excuses not to. I stopped because I had plateaued and I grew frustrated with each new sketch. Unlike with writing, I always asked myself what to draw, and I just didn’t know. Just draw, I guess.
- Finished Normal People by Sally Rooney, and I’m really not one for reviews, but my god, what a well-written and unbelievably beautiful book. It’s one of those rare books that filled me with so much inspiration with each page I read. Highly recommended.
- Another recommendation today. The final season of Attack on Titan is incredible. From the opening and ending songs to the relentless pace and darkness I so love from the series, I’m in awe. Episode 6 aired today and holy sh—.
- A photo of the big dipper I took with my iPhone. My iPhone. This was my first attempt at astrophotography, and I’m really happy with how it came out. It was freezing out, though, so I didn’t take more. It made the whole world sparkle like diamonds this morning, though.
- I wish I was there in person to watch Joe Biden get sworn in as our 46th president of the United States and Kamala Harris as our first woman vice president, but I am so grateful nonetheless. Let’s go, America!
- James Kochalka on Being Creative
- I’ve slept an average of just a few hours every night for the past week because of my noisy neighbors. After talking to them and my landlord on Thursday, things have settled down enough that I slept for almost 9 hours last night. I needed it, and my heart needed it, too:
- Caste by Isabel Wilkerson should be required reading for everyone on the planet. The book is endlessly quotable, but this one jives with my current life philosophy:
- Normal People on Hulu was just as good as the book, in its own way. I’m both in awe and in tears. It hits a melancholy note that reverberates throughout my current life’s circumstances. I love art like this so much.
- I stopped taking photos, especially macro photos, and that has made me sad. I asked a friend the other day where all the bugs have gone, and she said there are no bugs during winter. So I looked it up on the internet: Where do insects go during winter? Thought this was cool.
- Made a detour on my way to work today. Met some guys who planned a morning of ice fishing. It was 16° out, so I wished them luck.
- Winter vibes.
- Happy
February
- All bark and no bite makes Mario a nice young man you might want to introduce to your parents one day.
- Watching The Plot Against America on HBO almost a month after an attempted coup and after 4 years of a Trump presidency was a traumatic experience. And I couldn’t look away. David Simon knows how to make some great art.
- I prefer coffee but creek water works, too, I guess.
- I try to be stoic with most things in life, as in, I try to only focus on the things I can actually control, but goddamn, sometimes life just wears me down so much. I was feeling down already this week, but then the universe just piles on more shit and more shit that it feels like the universe is just having a laugh at my expense now.
- I’ve been feeling directionless lately, like a boat adrift at sea, but every time I look up at the moon, I feel comforted. Phenology, or paying attention to nature’s rhythms, is a word I learned last year, and it, like the moon, has become my lodestar in troubled times.
- The best thing about fog is when it lifts.
- I’m not allowed to have pets in my apartment, so meet Roscoe, the best and goodest boy there is. He lives in LA with my friends. I hope to see them all again soon.
- I played one season of baseball in middle school. I was hit by the pitcher like a dozen times. I had a few bunt singles. I had over 20 steals. I hit an inside the park home run on my last at bat ever. I played football the next year then stopped playing sports. Fun times!
- I’ve been vegan going on five years now, but the one exception I make is sushi. There’s something about raw fish that gets me going, you know? To satisfy some of the cravings I get from it, I learned to make vegan sushi, and it’s really hard yet really fun to make.
- Hope
- Muddy Whenever one of our teachers misbehave, we dump a bucket of ice cold water on them. This is normal life in Montana.
- Summer of 2015. We were staged in a valley a few miles from the fire while we watched the lightning storm roll in and light up the sky. Many fires are started by lightning strikes, and this one was no different. It doesn’t take much to burn thousands of acres.
- I decided to fully test out Apple Fitness+ this week. On Monday and Tuesday, I did two 30-minute HIIT workouts and felt great after each one, but today I’m sore as hell. I think today will be a good day to try a yoga session before finishing the week with two more HIIT workouts.
- I love HIIT workouts. I love the fast-pace and the buckets of sweat. In school, I ran the 100, 200, and 400-yard dash. I wasn’t the fastest and I didn’t break any records, but I loved it all nonetheless.
- September 2017. Fires are sometimes located deep inside the forests and the mountain roads that lead to them are rocky and rough. I drove a Ford F-250 with five other firefighters when I blew this tire and didn’t know it. It was my first flat tire and a good memory.
- I live on the Flathead Indian Reservation, so I was giddy with excitement when the latest episode of Sidedoor featured Tailyr Irvine, a photographer from the reservation whose project, Reservation Mathematics, features some old friends of mine. Highly recommended.
- Don’t mess with the queen.
- A few February’s ago, I participated in the Figuary drawing challenge. Every day I practiced drawing the human figure in my sketchbook, and I had lots of fun. I love making stuff.
- How to Be Idle: A Loafer’s Manifesto was a frustrating book to read. Not because it wasn’t good—it was very good—but because, like How to Do Nothing and The Wander Society, and even Walden and Thoreau’s Journal, it shows me a world I wish I could be a part of but can’t quite attain. Like many, I need a job to earn money; I need money to pay off my debts and my bills; I need to pay these off so I can… live? Like I wrote about last month, one of my big goals this year is to pay off my debt. Once I do, I’ll have an extra $1,000 or so a month that doesn’t have a job in my budget. I hate that this extra money makes me happy, but it does. I wish I could spend my days listening to the sounds of nature and daydreaming, but I’m not quite there yet. I don’t know if I ever will or if I even want to, but I love reading books that show me that it’s a possibility, that maybe just thinking about this escape is enough to get me through the day.
- Through rain or snow, I regularly see this man standing outside our local Walmart holding a sign that simply says, “God Bless.” He doesn’t ask for or accept any money; he simply wants you to know that someone cares.
- Abyss
- Selfie before I started the first day of my new (and current) job. This was a whole new outfit I bought and thought I looked pretty good! 😎
- Toward the end of 2019, I finished transcribing A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway by hand in my notebook. This was the second book I transcribed by hand, the first being The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I learned a lot by doing this.
- On February 13, 2015, I finished transcribing The Great Gatsby by hand. This was one of the most tedious yet rewarding things I’ve ever done.
- I love my niece, but she just… …won’t…
- This is a working draft of my planned Apple Fitness+ workout schedule:
- As someone who absolutely loved Octopath Traveler, you best believe I’m all over Project Triangle Strategy. I downloaded the demo this morning, and I can’t wait to play it later today.
- I think this was the last family photo where we were all together. It’s been a while.
- Viet Thanh Nguyen on page 267 of The Sympathizer: You know how to tell if someone’s really dead? Press your finger on his eyeball. If he’s alive, he’ll move. If he’s dead, he won’t.
- Earlier today, as I was walking to the main office at school, I saw Zoe, a second grader, with a snow shovel. She was shoveling snow when I asked her, “What are you doing?”
- Craig Mod Has Another Newsletter
- I took this last summer, a week after I purchased my macro lens. I remember following this little guy for a while because he wouldn’t stay still long enough for a photo. I had so much fun doing so that I really miss the vibrancy of life that winter seems to lack.
- Morning skies are the best skies.
- I’ve been reading a volume of Demon Slayer every morning this week, and I’m just enthralled with it. It’s so good.
- I finally had some time to update my Colophon page today. I quite like it!
- As flawed as this country is (and forever will be), I’m still a pretty proud American. And the kids are truly the future, so let’s take care of them and nourish them and teach them well.
- Ducks, Dicks, and Death
- Careful not to stare at the flame too long lest you be caught up in its spell.
- ASMR fire sounds. This is the fire I wrote about here.
- Philip Roth, in his introduction to Saul Bellow’s novel Herzog:
- I feel sad. I haven’t visited my island since Halloween! I want to get back into it. I miss the mundane tasks! I always felt so comforted doing them.
- Breakfast of champions! I really don’t know why I have this picture let alone why I took it. 🤦🏻♂️
- Getting Roasted by My Villagers
- Baby Mario.
- Some Photos of the Mountains
- Not the best picture but one that shows one of my favorite memories. A few years ago I was going through Framed Perspective I, learning all I could about perspective, and I got stuck on this one problem. It took me forever to crack the code, but when I did, I felt great!
- I Got My First COVID-19 Vaccine Shot Today
- This is a study of Winslow Homer’s Child Seated in a Wicker Chair I did a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite drawings because it’s one of the few things I’ve actually finished!
- I caught this snowman after a night out of partying 🥴
- A masterpiece.
- From a recent walk.
- When I read The Sympathizer a few weeks ago, I had no idea Viet Thanh Nguyen had written the sequel, let alone that it was to be released in March. So I felt great pleasure in reading this interview with him and this review of The Committed by Junot Diaz.
- Playing Around on a Sunday
March
- The shadow of a western conifer seed bug looks really cool.
- It is very very difficult to quit Amazon. Much more difficult than quitting Google (deleted), Twitter (deleted), Facebook (deactivated), or Instagram (deactivated).
- Back when the kids loved to wear masks.
- Judging by the screenshots from this Verge article, Fantasian, a game by the creator of Final Fantasy, looks absolutely gorgeous. This might be the first Apple Arcade game I’m genuinely looking forward to.
- New book! I’ve been slowly weening myself off email over the past few months, from only checking work email at work (sorry boss), and turning off all email notifications from my devices. The world has been more interesting with this small act of defiance.
- Speaking of Amazon, Peak Design just released an amazing video where they pretty much roast Amazon and their predatory Amazon Basics brand. It’s still tough to quit Amazon, but I do love supporting Peak Design and companies like them. I can’t wait to receive my Mobile set!
- When you’re reading a book that just shakes you to your core, where your hands are trembling but you can’t wait to turn the page, where you’re reading and you look at the time and 15 minutes have passed, then 30 minutes, then an hour, and you can’t wait to turn the page, when you read a passage that hits your soul and you underline it and you re-read it and re-read it, where you feel so grateful that you’re alive to read these words, to let them infect you and become you—that’s how I feel after reading American Pastoral. I still have one more part to read, but my god.
- Demon Slayer
- I’m kinda giddy that John Gruber’s favorite iOS writing app is iA Writer. It has been mine for years. I’ve tried Ulysses, Day One, Bear, 1Writer, etc., but nothing compares to iA Writer. All my writing gets done on it, and I do a lot.
- A beautiful and tragic work of art. I’m tempted to buy the Library of America’s complete collection of Philip Roth’s novels. Nine volumes, 28 novels, $240. Tempted.
- Happy Sunday!
- People Sketching and Some Thoughts on How to Be Happy
- I created a new tag: guitar. I went back and tagged a few older posts with it. I want to slowly start building an archive of notes and achievements on my site in regards to my guitar practice. I’m not sure what that will look like yet, but I’m excited to find out! So let’s go!
- When to Say Yes
- Molly Wood in the latest episode of Make Me Smart with Kai and Molly:
- I’m not really sure what’s going on here… …but I like it! 😵
- The SIFT Method
- Creative Frustration
- I’m on my final two weeks of my Apple Fitness+ trial, and here’s my upcoming schedule:
- Canceled my New York Times subscription and resubscribed to The New Yorker. I found I didn’t really read the Times and I really missed spending an hour or so a day going through the meatier New Yorker articles. This one in particular convinced me to return.
- Consistency.
- More chalk art. I love this one.
- I got my 2nd and final shot of the Pfizer vaccine today!
- Deleting Tweets and Other Social Media Content
- I loved The Committed by Viet Thanh Nguyen.
- Graham Greene’s Writing Routine
- Learning
- Progress Update
April
- Life has been all over the place the last few weeks, but thankfully, things seem to be slowing down. I took this photo of the moon last week, and I wish I could explain why the moon comforts me so much, but I can’t find the words.
- The Expanse
- Robert Adams in his foreword to Why We Photograph: Though these essays were written for a variety of occasions, they have a recurring subject—the effort we all make, photographers and nonphotographers, to affirm life without lying about it. And then to behave in accord with our vision.
- The Playground
- As an addendum to my last post, some elementary teachers are annoyed at me because I told their students to call me Super Mario. Is it really my fault that I enjoy walking into a classroom to a chorus of little kids saying “Hi Super Mario” over and over? I don’t think so… 😂
- Then stop talking, stop yelling, it takes a heck of a lot of oxygen to talk.
- Okay, I think my site redesign is done. Phew. That’s more of a statement to myself to stop fiddling with it now and move on. My goal was to have something minimalist, with a focus on typography and photos. As a non-designer, I think I did okay. Now to back away slowly…
- Saying Yes to Things
- Three Words
- I’ve been looking forward to Nier: Replicant for months, but now that it’s here, I’m hesitant to purchase it because I don’t think I have the time to play it anytime soon. I’m still haunted by Nier: Automata, though, years after finishing it, so maybe I should just go for it?
- Mortal Kombat was ridiculous, vulgar, bloody, brutal, extremely violent, and a helluva lot of fun, exactly what one would want in a movie based on an extremely violent, brutal, bloody, vulgar, and ridiculous video game.
- Wow, Nomadland was beautiful. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.
- I added my reading page today, but I haven’t added it to any part of my navigation yet. Not sure if I want to, so consider it a “secret” page. I’ll try to keep it updated as I read more books.
- Mortality
- After finishing Demon Slayer back in March, I’ve read through all of Jujutsu Kaisen (so good!), The Promised Neverland (much better than the anime), and Chainsaw Man (loved the art style). Today I start Haikyuu!!, and I’m excited.
- SiriusXM Is Buying “99% Invisible”
May
- Something Familiar
- Two Gifts
- Freeze!
- Fortune Telling
- Apple Has an Antitrust Problem. Here’s One Way to Solve It.
- When Problems Are Really Solutions
- The Longing Is Deliberately Slow and Tedious, but I Can’t Stop Playing
- Today Is Bandcamp Friday
- All the Music I Bought on Bandcamp Friday
- Some Housekeeping
- I finally got around to watching Tenet tonight, and… why does my head hurt so much? But also, why do I feel so invigorated?
- One more for the collection.
- I finally found a reason to use Font Awesome on my site: for my link posts. I added a nice link icon that helps me spot them on my site quicker. I also went back and updated some of my older posts with the new layout, and I dunno, I like it!
- A New Dragon Ball Super Movie Is Coming in 2022
- My Mom Is a Badass
- A photo I couldn’t quite fit into last week’s journal entry. I’m itching to go back out there but the weather has been bleh lately.
- Alison Pollack Shoots Incredible Macro Photos
- Some of My Favorite Haikyu!! Panels From the First 140+ Issues
- My Second Brain
- I think my favorite tag on my website is kids these days, a collection of conversations I’ve had with the elementary kids at my school.
- Last night, I finished watching Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, an anime about a trio of high school girls who create an animation club so they can make anime’s together. It’s very sweet and wholesome, and I highly highly recommend it. I really loved it.
- Sunday.
- Cory Doctorow Reflects on 20 Years of Blogging, and I Accept That I’m an Asshole
- Dave Morrow on How Quitting Social Media Changed His Life
- The Door
- Just Use Your Mouth!
- It’s an Erect Penis, and an Erect Penis Is an Erect Penis.
- What Now?
- Heather Cox Richardson Has a New Podcast?!
- School’s Out!
- What Pornography Is to Sex, Social Media Platforms Are to Our Intrinsic Appetite for Socialising.
- Molting
- An MLB.TV Subscription Is the Best $130 I Ever Spent
June
August
September
October
November
December
2020
June
July
August
- X
- Debts
- Roar
- Weird
- Moon
- Stasis
- Month
- Reopening
- Magician
- Lazy
- Muzzled
- Dread
- Listen
- Absorb
- Hungover
- Love/Hate
- Rainbows
- Chill
- Burn
- Serendipity
- Mantis
- Insanity
- Grey
- Phase
- Unaware
- Hopeful
- I dropped my camera on Tuesday, and now it won’t hold any of the settings. Each time I turn it on, it’s reset to factory settings. I took photos yesterday but the date was reset to 1/1/2000, and there were all shot in jpeg. So, unfortunately, I might have to pause my blog for a bit until I figure this out. I might have to buy a new camera, which, cool, but also, not cool. I’m sad about this, honestly.
September
- X-T4
- School has been a mess. The teachers are infuriating, but I’m happy to see the students back. I went home livid and exhausted, and I’ve been questioning my employment status. But I took a look at the shots of the moon I took in the morning, and I felt calm and excited. This new camera has centered me. I love it so much. At least I have this to fall back to when things are tough. What more can I ask for?
- Eternity
- Devourer
- Twenty
- Mom
- Sisters. Need I say more?
- Depression
- Basics
- Phenology
- Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse by manipulating someone into doubting their own sanity. It comes from the 1944 film Gaslight where a man psychologically manipulates his wife into believing that she is going insane. I came across it by watching hours of Among Us streams, and I thought it was the perfect word for the reality we are all currently living in.
- My town is weird.
October
- Fixed
- It was a beautiful fall day today.
- The past couple of days have been rough. I’ve been battling a debilitating back pain that has forced me off my feet and has made sleep a struggle. But I woke up today to the first snowfall of the season, and I just had to get out of my home and go for a walk.
- Pain
- Beautiful sunrise yesterday morning. Also, the iPhone 12 Pro takes beautiful photos.
November
- Last night I dreamt I lost my camera bag in a shuttle after landing in LA, but I was having too much fun with new friends to care about it then. I woke up with my bag but without my new friends. What a cold and dreary day life after a dream can be.
- I am very happy my succulents haven’t died yet. I also love these pots.
- I dreamt of an old friend last night, one I haven’t seen for a very long time. I ran to her the moment I saw her. We hugged deeply and lovingly for as long as we could. I woke up feeling good, a rare feeling I will try to concentrate on today.
- I had my very first physical therapy appointment today, and all in all, I’m unimpressed. I think I feel good enough to start working out again which both excites me and terrifies me. My next appointment is in two weeks, but all I could think about is going back outside with my camera.
- I didn’t sleep well last night. I lied in bed and scrolled through Instagram, double tapping on all the pretty pictures I saw. I pulled up a recent picture of an ex and wondered where things went wrong. I shouldn’t be astonished at my own predictability, but I am.
- Did my first intense workout today since hurting my back three weeks ago. I’m finally starting to feel like my old self again. But I know I’m only at the base of the mountain, and I have quite the journey ahead. All I can do is to keep going. So let’s go.
- I woke up a few hours after going to bed anxious about the election results. Trump declared victory and the whole country forgot that these results could take weeks to process. I hoped we would be nearer to the end than we are, but I feel the fool for hoping anything.
- Amazing that I shot this nine days ago, and the weather today was in the low 60s. Montana has the best (as in weirdest) weather, and I love it.
- I read once that Leonardo da Vinci had the best posture. As a kid, I would try to walk as tall as I could but my head always seemed to stoop forward. Whenever I pass by my reflection, I notice my posture and I try to straighten it just a bit more. But it’s never enough.
- New haul. Excited!
- There are many things I find puzzling but nothing more so than rural Americans. What’s up with their championship belt-sized belt buckles?
- I love it when it rains.
- I wonder how many balloons get inflated every election season and how many bring more sorrow than joy.
- I felt like the whole world bounded together in unity yesterday, and I felt so good joy-scrolling instead of doomscrolling for the first time in four years.
- I spent some time tweaking a few aspects of my website that make me love my blog that much more. I wish I knew more about CSS and whatnot, but I’m happy with the result as of today.
- Languages
- The best times of my life are when I let go and go with the flow rather than forcing things to go a certain way. This year has taught me that more than any other. Just let go and ride the wave.
- Ever since I was a kid I’ve wondered what it would be like to be elderly, to be lying on my death bed and looking back on my life. Would I be proud of the life I’ve lived? How can I live life now to make that last day special?
- Monday: Tuesday:
- Instead of trying to figure out what to say next, I need to learn patience and the beauty of silence.
- Coming from California, I never had to worry about not wearing enough warm clothes. Living in Montana, I’ve learned the value of a warm jacket and some tough boots.
- Good morning!
- If I had to guess the ratio of caffeine to blood coursing through my body, I’d say it’s about 50/50.
- What a beautiful sunrise this morning.
- Following Friday the 13th, Saturday the 14th doesn’t sound very spooky at all. It sounds anodyne in comparison.
- Before COVID, I had dreams of traveling the world and living life to the fullest. Today, I don’t want those dreams to be dreams anymore. After COVID, I’m going to travel far away and actually live my life to the fullest because that’s all I got, isn’t it?
- I feel like the art I love creating the most is the art of capturing a memory. I journal to remember my day. I photograph to remember a place or a person or a thing. I draw (sometimes) to remember how the world is designed and how it works (I need to draw more).
- I’ve been re-training my body the last few weeks, and I’ve never felt better. I gained some weight ever since I hurt my back, and I’m on the journey to burn that off. I’m meditating again with the goal of reducing my anxiety as much as I can. Slow and steady wins.
- A very foggy morning. Back to work but all I can think about is the future. Is it wise to get rid of everything and spend the rest of my life on the road?
- Is iPhone dependence similar to alcohol dependence? Because I think I’m suffering through that. I wake up eager to check my notifications and I get sad when they’re not the right ones. My mind feels like mush, and I need to simplify, simplify, simplify.
- My goal for the next few months is to lose at least five pounds. I know it’s possible because I’ve done it before. But I was younger then, and my body takes longer to recover now. Health is the foundation for everything else, so let’s do it.
- I love the smell after a night of deep rain. The world feels cleaner, like a shower after a long day of work.
- I’ve been iPad-only since I bought the first 9.7” iPad Pro four years ago. The 11” iPad Pro from 2018 has been my main computer for the last two years, and the Magic Keyboard has been nothing but amazing. But goddamn if the new M1 Apple laptops don’t look sexy as hell right now.
- I had a really good time talking to a friend yesterday about my dreams. I told her that when I first moved to Montana, the first few years were fun. The memories of that time had completely faded away, and my lust for travel increased even more. I want to have fun again.
- Our first winter snowfall came last month, but it’s been nothing but rain since. More members of our staff are in quarantine after a possible positive case among the administrative staff, and I just hope we can get through winter safely.
- I spent more time today tweaking my website. I updated my home page with a brief biography and I love it. The next things on my todo list are to:
- Other than living within the borders of my country, state, and town, I’ve been living within my own mental borders, too. By living within my comfort zone, I’ve missed opportunities and let life flow by. One day I’ll travel again, but I can expand these other borders now.
- I’ve been vegan for almost four years, but I just recently started cooking with tofu. This is a mushroom and spinach tofu scramble that I modified from this recipe. This has been my goto weekend brunch meal for the past month and when paired with a cup of black coffee? So good!
- Toward the end of June, I drove down to the river and made this recording of the sounds around me. It was my attempt to expand my walls and embrace a moment where I succeeded in this goal. The summer feels so far away now, but I love that I captured a memory of it.
- It’s snowing. Coming from southern California where the weather was always 70° and sunny, the snow in Montana makes me happy.
- When I first moved to Montana, all the provisions I needed fit in two bags. Now, when I look around and see all the new stuff I’ve gathered over the years, I feel a need to declutter and simplify. But I also a feel proud of how far I’ve come. Hmm.
- Some snow has melted and the weather was a bit warmer. One of the students must’ve made this snowball and set it here on the table. They all leave for Thanksgiving break tomorrow and I will miss them, but I will enjoy my extended weekend, too.
- There’s a lovely young girl in first grade that loves to call me “Mar Mar.” Every time she sees me, she yells, “Mar Mar!” and runs up to me and gives me a hug. It is one of the absolute best parts of my job. I love it so much.
- Before I accepted my current job, I didn’t know if I liked kids or not. But now, I can safely say I absolutely adore them. They give out hugs freely and they always want to play games. Such a lovely set of souls.
- Last night I made more adjustments to my website. I’m reminded of my time in high school when I first learned HTML and Photoshop. I remember staying up all night creating a custom header image so I could post it on my old Xanga blog. Glad to see not much has changed.
- Noclip’s documentary on Microsoft’s Flight Simulator is absolutely amazing. The tech required to recreate our entire planet, all the way down to the weather, gives me strong “are we living in a simulation?” vibes.
- I’m thankful for silliness.
- When I was a wildland firefighter, I loved spending weeks sleeping in my tent with nothing but the essentials. Since retiring, I’ve grown used to superfluity. My dilemma is figuring out if I have the strength to get rid of what I don’t need for a life spent on the road.
- One of the benefits of wearing a mask outside is the fact that it hides my face. I’m so scared of vulnerability that I hide so much of myself from the world just to feel safe. But it’s not until I take my mask off that I truly feel like myself. Vulnerability is power.
- In On Photography, Susan Sontag wrote: All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt.
- I daydreamed I was learning French again, saying the basics like, je suis and je m’appelle and remembering how intoxicating it is to say je pense que tu es belle. I dream of one day walking the streets of Paris as a pedestrian with new friends and new memories. One day.
- Went to the park this morning. It was 20°F/-6°C. Met a man who declared his love to the beauty of our town. Sometimes this place isn’t half bad.
- I felt hesitant to go to the park yesterday because I’ve gone so many times before and I didn’t know if I’d find anything I hadn’t shot before. I was wrong. Beauty is everywhere—in the trees, on the ground, in people—and a consistent habit helps reinforce that truism.
- I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time the last few days learning all I can about web design. From typography and CSS grids, to how Hugo works and how best to use it, I’ve fallen in love with the whole process. I like the idea of openly designing the whole thing, so here we are.
December
- Slept about four hours last night. As I lied in bed, my thoughts wavered between past regrets and future hopes. I have to keep reminding myself that even though my past shaped who I am today, I’m not defined by it. The future is mine, and I just have to seize it.
- This might sound lame to some, but I’m super proud of this: I figured out how to display my photos on my Photos page as a single column on mobile. It readjusts to three columns when in landscape, too.
- This was the last photo I took before I dropped and broke my X-T20 camera in August. That’s when I stopped writing my daily essays and stopped taking daily photos. Because life doesn’t slow down, I shouldn’t either. So let’s keep going.
- A few nights ago I slept for only four hours and I spent the next 20 hours awake. I forgot to eat and care for my body. As a result, my body gave up on me yesterday and I had to leave work early because I felt sick. I slept in and took some medicine. Now I feel better.
- I feel so much better today. I guess I pushed my body past my limits. I have to remember to rest and to listen to my body.
- I don’t do it everyday, but I love photography. I was feeling a bit down today, and a friend texted me randomly and told me to go outside and shoot some photos. That was all I needed. I went outside and took photos of some beautiful ice crystals. I’m glad I have great friends.
- Winter is so beautiful. I just wish it wasn’t so cold!
- Another winter shot. My aunt says this one reminds her of a crazed insect. Now I can’t unsee it!
- “That looks like something living,” a friend of mine told me. What do you see?
- I’ve been going through old photographs and getting lost in memories. I remember the sights and sounds and feelings when I took this photograph. I had just bought my first macro lens and it helped me see the world in a whole new way.
- I think it might be one of those four hours of sleep kinda night. I saw a few young students yesterday lying together on the grass and telling each other what they saw in the clouds. I remember I used to climb trees. Getting old is awful.
- I slept for over nine hours last night, and I’m amazed at how better my days are when I get enough sleep. It started to snow a little bit ago. I miss the summer and its warm days, but I’m stocked on blankets and coffee at home, so I’m ready for a warm and cozy weekend.
- “One day this will all end,” I wrote in July, “and the question I ask myself is whether it was worth it.”
- I have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow, but this time I’m seeing a new doctor. I hope she can help me.
- Last month I said that I wished I knew more about CSS. Well, since then, I’ve taught myself enough to build a website I’m proud to call my own. After weeks of hard work, I think I’m finally done with my redesign. I need to stop and focus on my writing and photography again.
- Today I had one of the absolute best experiences with a doctor in my life. Although she had to cut into me with no anesthetic and I have to be on antibiotics for a week, I’m happy. Finally some good feelings! Here’s a random picture of some beautiful ducks because why not!
- I’m writing something that made me go back and look through my old firefighting pictures. This was taken on the Liberty Fire from 2017. Over a million acres burned that year. I loved the long days and steep hikes, the crappy food and good company. I miss those days.
- Stuck on a nostalgia trip. This was my first “real” fire. I say “real” because this fire had a real shot of getting out of hand and harming many of us. The fire jumped the line we spent all day building and spread across our only escape route, knocking it out. Once night fell, we were lost. It was blacker than black. All we had was the light of our headlamp and the experience of our crew boss. Every tree looked the same. The floor was covered in tree litter and the slope was steeper than hell. We hiked all night until finally we found the dozer line we carved out earlier in the day. The soft dirt felt amazing. We loaded into our vehicles and many of us, me included, crashed on the way back to camp. If I was a fire virgin before that day, I wasn’t anymore.
- When you’re building line, you’re taught to dig as close to the black as possible. The black means the burnt areas on the ground. A burnt area can’t re-burn, so it’s also the place you’re told to go if you need a safe place to go in case the fire rages out of control. You want to “kiss the black” because you want to give an active fire as little fuel as possible. As a wildland firefighter, building line is one of the things you do the most. It’s what helps contain the fire, and it’s what helps end fires.
- When you can’t kiss the black, whether because the fire is on inaccessible terrain or it’s raging too wildly to send firefighters to fight it or for another reason, you do the smart thing and fight the fire with more fire.
- There’s a yellow pack the veterans make most rookies wear that’s colloquially known as a piss pump. It’s a backpack that’s filled up with about 5-8 gallons of water that’s worn over the regular pack everyone must carry. Connected to it was a long nozzle that, when pumped, sprayed water. The pressure wasn’t great, but it did enough to cool some areas down. Other times we made the rookies carry hoses and fittings and other gear that added extra weight to their pack and thus made the day a bit longer. I was a rookie once, and I went through this. It was fun.
- I think the thing I’m most grateful for during my time as a firefighter are all the places and things I got to see.
- I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a firefighter, but when I moved to Montana, I was penniless and in debt. I moved to Montana to start over, to reinvent myself, and to grow up. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without that experience. I’m grateful for all of it.
- Year in Reading: 2020
- Pixar’s Soul was incredible. A great movie to end the craziness that was 2020.
- I finally got around to watching the new Mulan movie, and oh my, what a beautifully shot movie it was. Every frame was gorgeous. It was shot by Mandy Walker. I’ll be following her work from now on.
- Ewan McGregor in episode 7 of Long Way Round, after a couple of Russians killed a black bear, skinned it, and took its gallbladder:
- Healed
- How to Use Social Media if You Have Social Anxiety
- The Markup and The New York Times both had stories about Amazon this morning. In 2021, I hope to wean myself off Amazon, but I fear it’ll be a near impossible feat. I live in a rural town, and there are things I can only get on Amazon. But I will try to live simply in 2021.
- I came across this beautiful quote by Seneca: There is no enjoying the possession of anything valuable unless one has someone to share it with.
- Is Dairy Farming Cruel to Cows?
- Had some fun playing in the snow tonight.
2019
May
2015
January
- Montana Is for Badasses
- Ready to Go Home
- Cruise Control
- Tested
- A Nice, Normal Day
- Retrospective
- For Posterity's Sake
- The Known Unknown
- Holding Me Back
- Under the Weather
- Aspirin
- Still Hard on Myself
- Feeling Better
- Chev Chelios
- Building the House
- Choices
- Quiet Desperation
- Journalling and Lying
- Just. Fucking. Great.
- Still Fighting
- Bad Day
- I Didn't Want a Drink Today
- Shit Works! Sorta
- Feeling Pleasure by Denying Pleasure
- Hell Week Is Over
- I Got This
- Back to My Stultifying Routine
- Three Hours
- Breaking It Down
- Better Than My Best
- Pomodoro
February
- The Urgency of February
- Attacking Life From All Angles
- Be Careful What You Wish For
- Perception
- Divide and Conquer
- Grateful for the Little Things
- Showing My Work
- A Lot
- Back to Work
- Unanswered Questions
- What Do You Do?
- Tired, Sore, and Cranky
- Hell No
- That Fire
- Firestorm
- Embrace the Suck
- No Internet
- Not There Yet
- The Plateau
- The Gamble
- Own Worst Enemy
- Being Human
- How I Use My Pocket Notebook
- Capital F Fun
- Evoooooooolving
- Stay Tuned
- Dance!
- Digital Permanence
March
- The Right Tool for the Right Job
- Before and After
- Everyone Needs to Keep a Journal
- Focus on the Now
- What Would You Save if There Was a Fire in Your Home?
- Satisfy Your Inner Geek
- Second Chance
- The Halfway Point
- A Very Sunny Day
- Starting a Commonplace Book
- Not Sure How to Push Myself
- Who Needs Rest? Not This Guy!
- An Introvert? Who? Me? Get Outta Here!
- Grab Doubt by the Balls and Kick Its Ass
- ⌘⇧Fuck
- The Endgame
- I Love You, Blog. You Complete Me.
- First Draft Philosophy
- This Is Me
- It Just Works™
- Successful Limits
- Ulysses
- Meta-Narrative
- Tired, but Earning My Rest
- Technology or No Technology, I Don’t Know
- The Journey After 200 Days
- Back to Basics
- How (Not) to Be Like Leonardo Da Vinci
- Burgeoning Rewards
- First Day Teaching
- Learning How to Teach
April
- Unintentional Confidence
- I Work There
- I’m Not Alone
- The Movings of My Soul
- Guide of Conduct
- Life Is Too Short to Live It in Mediocrity
- Montana’s Void
- The Difficulties of Blogging
- Some Thoughts About Going Back to College
- Casual Friday
- Guilty
- Journal for My Novel
- Ambition and Insecurity
- Let’s Go
- I Just Want to Read!
- Sentences
- Human Regret
- Some Photography
- Unanswered
- Be Happy for Crissakes
- Thinking Some More About Photography
- Teaching a New Class
- Yes, but How Do You Feeeel?
- Folded Upon Itself
- The Whole Body of Things
- Maybe I Need to Slow Down
- I’m a Writer
- So Very Tired
- Mistakes
- Better for It
May
- Figuring It Out
- What Now?
- Fight to Win
- Lost and Floating
- To Drink or Not to Drink
- Showing Up Regardless
- Alcohol-Infused Dream
- Pivoting
- Taking a Break
- Happy Birthday to Me
- Balance and Limits
- Rediscovering Myself
- Learning and Finding Balance
- Deflecting
- Mad Max
- Sk8terboi
- My Diary
- The Most Interesting Man
- Successful?
- Why We Fight
- Don’t Know, Don’t Care
- How Do We Live Well?
- How to Be Batman
- Do What We Need to Do
- I Finished My Novel
- The Quantifiable Life
- Attitude
- Nostalgia and Maturity
- Thank You, Pinot Noir
- People Are People A.k.a. I’m Having Fun Today
- Splurge
June
- That Fire
- Experimentation Jubilation
- References
- Cleaning House
- Surprised I’m Still Awake
- Baby Steps
- Every Ending Is a New Beginning
- Well-Lived Day
- Protechnology, Antiintellectualism
- Main Course
- Missoula
- If It’s Broke, Fix It
- All Work and No Play
- Status Update
- Floating
- Fasting Crankiness
- Just Be
- The Unexamined Life
- Day 285
- Summer Lovin
- It Is What It Is
- Better Late Than Never
- Small Steps
- Home
- So Dramatic
- So Painful It’s Funny
- Day 293
- Courage
- Solitary Confinement
- Small Town Woes
July
- Lost
- Get Hard
- Greatness
- America
- You Are What You Eat
- Getting Old
- Guilt
- Better Than That
- Run-Ons
- What’s Normal Anyway?
- Minimalism, Revisted
- Regroup and Refocus
- Half-Lazy
- Proof of Life
- Purees, Paste, and Pynchon
- Are You Not Entertained?
- Finding That Balance
- I Made Ice Cream
- Some More Paleo Fun
- Uninterested Dick
- Thoughts on Apple Music
- To Tweak or Not to Tweak (Part 1)
- To Tweak or Not to Tweak (Part 2)
- To Tweak or Not to Tweak (Part 3)
- First World Problems
- Meditation
- Just See What Happens
- My Story
- My Car
- The Spectrum of Life
- Information Diet and Instapaper
August
- Chicken Prosciutto Involtini
- Outgrown It
- Rewards
- Couture Fire
- Change of Plans
- Elk Fire
- Off the Elk Fire
- Firefighter Porn
- Stumpfucker
- Almost
- Popped My Cherry
- Sleeping in My Car
- Making Those Dolla Dolla Bills, Y'all
- Red Flag Warning
- Time for Break
- Back Home
- Break Time
- Back at It
- Clusterfuck
- Shit Rolls Downhill
- T Minus 2 Days
- T Minus 1 Day
- Home
- Working Through It
- Settling Down
- Not Feeling Good
- Exhausted but Still Ticking
- The Weekend Is Here
- Gluttonous Fuck
- Consumption Habits
- Pinot-Infused Dreams
September
2014
September
- So It Begins
- Be Better
- Not Looking Back
- Demand Better for Yourself
- Accountability
- Regret
- Doing Something About It
- Appreciate the Small Wins
- The Past
- Bringing It
- Making Time
- Resistance
- Roll With the Punches
- Pistol Creek Fire (Day 1)
- Pistol Creek Fire (Day 2)
- Pistol Creek Fire (Day 3)
- Pistol Creek Fire (Day 4)
- Perfection
- Embrace Who You Are
- A Nice Life
- The Weekly Review
- Frictionless
- Highlights
October
- Priorities
- Seeing It Through
- Doug Funnie
- Cocky
- Gone
- Change Is Good
- 30 Days
- Unmotivated
- Shut Up and Listen
- Organizational Fetish
- Troubleshooting
- Be Like Water
- Flawed
- Change Sucks
- Integrity
- Could've Done More
- Burnt Out
- Damn I Look Good, A.k.a the Mirror
- Doubts
- Reboot
- Get Some Sleep
- Letting Go of Minimalism
- Reflection
- Colors
- Details Are Everything
- Retail Therapy
- 50 Days and 29,000+ Words Later...
- Earn Every Day
- How to Earn Today
- Being at My Best All the Time
- Just Live
November
- A Quality Life
- My Philosophy
- Greatness
- Music
- Obsessive Tinkerer
- Sixty
- On Routines
- The Writing Life
- Progress
- Drifting Off Into a World of Words
- Shitty First Drafts
- Montana
- The Hawk
- Automatic
- Watching Her Walk Away
- Batman Da Vinci
- Take It
- Over 200 Days of Insanity
- Bitching About Work
- Quitting
- Lifestyle Design
- Frustrated
- Kaizen
- Contradictions
- C'est La Vie
- I Don't Know
- Grateful
- 1%
- Rest Day
- Acceptance
December
- A New Month
- Keeping My Word
- Balance
- Happiness
- Indulgences
- Unsatisfied
- Keep Moving
- Accession
- Thinking About California
- Earn It
- High School
- Dating
- I Hate Dating
- Settling Down
- My Fragile Life
- First 100 Days
- Just Keep Trying
- Owning My Actions
- It Was a Good Day
- Thinking Through My Processes
- Maybe I Can't Do It
- Freedom
- Exciting
- Happy Happy Joy Joy
- Merry Christmas
- Self-Actualization
- Getting Ready for My Road Trip
- On the Road
- Yup, I'm on Vacation
- Game Night
- Happy New Years