Mario Villalobos

Under the Weather

I woke up today with a runny nose, and I’m writing this with a runny nose, and I’ve been tired all day, even after taking a few naps, and I went to the grocery store and bought some hot chocolate, and I’ve been pouring honey down my throat all day, and all I have to say is that it looks like I might be getting sick. I haven’t been sick since February of 2011. I almost made it four years without getting sick. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow before I stop bragging about that, but this is the first time a sickness has hit me this bad โ€” which isn’t that bad to begin with, which should tell you a lot โ€” that I think I’ll be feeling about the same, if not worse, tomorrow. Because of this, I spent all day in bed watching TV. I didn’t do any of my chores, I didn’t do anything on my todo list, I just lied in bed and watched TV. I did workout, I did make dinner, and I did shower, but that’s it. Other than my morning and nightly routines, I’ve done nothing productive today.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way, and part of me obviously doesn’t like it, but another part of me does. It reminded me how important my health is, and how human I am. I’m not invulnerable, and no matter how much I take care of myself, something will always seep through and cause me harm. I actually feel really fortunate to feel a bit under the weather because my mind all week has been dwelling on a few ideas I might have regretted if pursued to their endpoint. If I let those ideas seep through, I might have regressed on all my progress to a point where maybe I would’ve shut down this blog and quit.

I’ve been feeling like quitting all week, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the pressure of trying to write an entry every day, even though I did this with no problem with my journals. I never went into so much depth or wrote this much in them, though, which may be a leading cause of my feeling this way. I’ve also been preventing myself from doing something because of how it may look to other people, but I think I’m going to pursue this idea more vigilantly now. We only live once, right?

I woke up so cold this morning. I think that’s how I got my runny nose. I don’t sleep with my heater on because I feel like it’s a waste of money and because I usually get too hot when it’s on. If I want to adjust the temperature, I have to get out of bed, adjust the dial, and get back into bed and hope that adjustment worked. It’s too much work, so I keep it off. I sleep with two blankets, and they’ve always been enough. This morning must’ve just been a real cold one. I hope I feel better tomorrow, but if I don’t, then I know I’ll have to take it easy, which is totally okay with me.

I’m not in a race here. This is one battle in a war that’s going to last me my entire life. I just need to slow down, learn, and live as best as I can under the circumstances. Carpe diem and all.