Deflecting

I gave in and bought beer today. I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would back when I decided not to drink at all, so progress, I guess. I knew I just wanted to play more video games after my workout, and since I knew that, I wanted to drink because it’s even more fun to play while a little bit buzzed. I’m slightly buzzed now, but three beers, regardless of how long it’s been since I’ve drank anything, isn’t going to do too much to me, unfortunately. All I really want to do is get this entry over with so I can get back to playing my games. What the fuck, right?

I almost didn’t work out today. I really really didn’t want to. I wanted to buy said beer, eat, and then spend the rest of the night playing video games. But I did workout. I don’t know how I did it other than just doing it. I just did it because it needed to be done. I remembered the entry a wrote a few days ago where I said how working out simply helps me feel better. And it did today. I feel good. Sore and really tired, but I feel good, and I’m glad I moved my body. I also didn’t want to write this entry tonight, but here I am writing it. I don’t know what exactly is motivating me right now. I think it’s the fact that I don’t want to break this streak I’ve got going. This is day 249, and tomorrow will be day 250. That’s quite the streak, no?

The school year is almost over, and I’m really glad about that. The students are getting on my nerves, a bit, mostly in drama class. They’ve all just checked out, and here I am trying to have them do something fun but they don’t really care. I don’t know if I would want to help teach anything next school year. Maybe it’s not my thing. Besides, there’s always something to do with the technology we have, especially since we’ll be getting a lot more new computers this summer. I had to ask for a bunch of quotes from a few vendors to give to my bosses so they could all have a meeting about it and see what they have in their budget to determine their purchasing decisions. If we get all that I’ve asked for, I would be setting up 22 new computers and about 9 new laptops. That’ll take me a few days to get all set up for sure. Can’t wait.

I’m sorry these entries suck. I think they suck, but I don’t care enough to make them better. I feel like I’ve stopped caring about a lot of things. I’ve felt like this before and it usually passes after some time. So I’m going to enjoy not caring and drink and play some more video games. Because I don’t want to think about my life right now and how unhappy I seem to be with it.