Day 285

I’ve been drinking since about 3 PM, and I don’t want to dig deep with my writing tonight, because all I want to do is watch TV and drown in self pity because I think I’m destined to ruin every good thing that’s ever happened to me. I think I’m meant to be miserable, and that thought sucks but it’s also comforting. It’s comforting because it’s an answer to something I’ve been feeling for maybe my whole life, and that’s whether I’m going to be with somebody or not. And I’m not. I can’t. I won’t let it. I’m stupid and self-destructive and oblivious to the stupidity and selfishness of my actions.

I don’t want to open up more than that. I had a really bad day, and the thought of keeping this blog updated feels trivial and pointless. So I’m going to end it here.