30 Days

I’ve read from a few sources that it takes 30 days to create a habit. Others say it takes 66, while yet others say it takes more than that. 120 days. A year. A lifetime. In the last 30 days, what have I done? I went from not having a job to having a job. Win. I went from yearning over some girl to yearning over her less. Pass. I went from having my novel collect digital dust for over a year to finally brushing it off and writing over 8,000 words. Super win. I went from weighing 171.2 lbs on the 8th of September to weighing 171.4 lbs on the 6th of October. Fail? I’ve been doing hardcore Insanity for the past few weeks, and I feel stronger than I was then. Again, I’m also taking whey protein powder shakes on a daily basis, and it says right on the label that it should not be taken if the goal is weight loss. I wanted to lose 10 lbs a month ago, but now I’m not so sure.

What does all this mean? I don’t know, honestly. The biggest thing that happened to me was finding that IT job. I won’t get paid until the 15th, but my first full check won’t be until November 1st. I really like this job, and I know the pay will be good, and those two things were my biggest worries a month ago. I did not want to go back to a job I hated, especially when the pay was crap. At one paint last week, I was at 169 lbs, so I know my weight isn’t that big of an issue anymore. All I needed to do was start working out again. That was actually a big theme this past month: just starting. Even without a blog or a crisis that prompted it, my biggest issue in terms of productivity and happiness had been starting. It’s so difficult, but I quickly realized that once I started on that first day, the rest of the days gradually became easier.

What do I want for the next 30 days? To not fail. I don’t want to regress on the progress I made this past month. But I also don’t want to live a monotonous life. I could always add new things to do, but I know from experience that that usually hinders my progress rather than helps it. The extra workload burnt me out quicker and the whole system just fell apart. That’s when drinking and being lazy seemed like things I deserved and not the bad signs they really were. Repetition, although fantastic for habits and routines, bores me. Eventually I’m going to get tired of Insanity again, and in my search for something better or different, I’ll allow myself to stop working out. I tell myself I’ll get back on track once I find something new, but when I don’t, I just stop working out. Insanity is tried and tested. I know what I’m getting, and I love how it makes me feel after. Again, it’s just starting. I have to keep pushing myself, though. I have to, for some reason.

Nothing can change. I know that for sure. I’ve built a good foundation here. Now it’s time to add to it. To focus myself on something tangible, I have my three pillars: mind, body, spirit. I can always improve in all three phases. My reading hasn’t been as voracious as I’d like it to be. Goal #1: read more. I can do that, and I have my Kindle loaded with hundreds of good books. Do I want to lose weight or do I want to bulk up? I want to lose body fat and tone up. I need to measure my body fat, but my fat calipers broke. I need to buy a replacement. Goal #2: Measure body fat along with body weight every week to determine if whey protein powder is building muscle while also losing body fat. If not, then I have to reconsider those shakes. The third pillar has always seemed vague to me. A lot can contribute to my spirit. Writing. Working out. Meditating. Last year I read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It became one of my favorite books of all time. But I remember thinking, after I finished reading it, that I wanted to develop my own form of philosophy. A philosophy to live my life with tenets and whatnot to follow. My own man code, per se. That thought always intrigued me. Goal #3: Start building the framework to what my personal philosophy can be.

I’ll see what happens in the next 30 days, but hey, now I have a guide to follow. I’m not sure what my days will look like now, but I always liked finding that out.