I need to stop driving while spending some of the night drinking. It’s going to bite me in the ass sooner rather than later.
I had fun, though. After work, I bought some beers and drove directly to my sister’s place, where I hung out with my mom, had some amazing Mexican food, and then slept on and off for the next few hours because I was exhausted and full and a bit buzzed, but afterwards, once night fell and more people came over, we played some One Night, which is an awesomely fun game. I’m tired right now, and it’s late (11:09 PM), but I feel awful that it’s day 362 and I’m not writing that much.
My mom’s here. I only get to see her maybe once a year. Fire season is over, and she’ll be here up until day 365. I will write what I write. I have nothing spectacular planned. I’m not the same person I was a year ago. I no longer care about some stupid girl and instead am eager to find the next one. Who is she? Where is she? When will I meet her? It’s fun.
I’m also eager to reboot my life again. God, again. How many times do I need to do that in a given year? A lot, apparently. I need to start working out again and eating better. I need to rewrite my novel. I need to buy needed supplies. I’m still conflicted whether or not I should buy a TV. A good TV will set me back hundreds of dollars, eating into my ability to buy other much needed items. But a TV is a TV. I can buy a PS4 and play video games and watch DVDs and Netflix and Hulu and invite people over and watch TV on my couch and bed and have fun. Or I could buy more kitchen equipment, cook delicious meals with them, and help with my diet and social skills in that way. I think the latter is where I’m leaning toward. I guess the TV will have to wait.
I don’t know how far I’ve come since it seems like I’m still worried about and struggling with many of the same things I’ve been struggling with all year. I weigh more than I did then and probably in not much better shape. I can cook better. I am happier. I do have a finished novel to my name. I do have a wonderful and high paying job. I’m rid of the toxic people in my life. I’m a squad boss in firefighting. I have a wonderful home. Life is awesome but can always, always, improve.
Kaizen is the concept of continuous improvement. Maybe that’s simply the theme of my journey: continuous improvement. No matter how far I get, the process is still in the journey. I will never reach my destination because my destination comes with death. And I’m living until then. So you’ve all been part of just one year of my journey. We’ll see what happens next.