For the first time in a few weeks, I feel good. I feel like things don’t look as bleak as I once thought they were, and instead I feel hopeful for the future. This morning, while I had my car checked out at the shop and while I did laundry, I wrote the most sincerest and honest cover letter to a principal at a local school looking for an IT person that I’ve ever written. As we may have noticed, I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve unashamedly, and that was reflected in this letter. I was desperate to make this letter work, and I think I cracked it. I sent it and my résumé to him and waited. A few hours later, he e-mailed me back and asked me when I would be free for an interview. Immediately, I thought. I replied that I’m available all day tomorrow. He’s yet to reply, but I’m hopeful. Ever since I seriously started looking out for my health over three years ago, I made it a ritual to check and log my weight every Monday morning. I chose Monday because it was usually the first day of the week where I would work out, and knowing what I weighed would set the tempo for the rest of the week. Like clockwork, I checked my weight this morning. I gained two pounds since last week. At first I was a little disappointed, but I became hopeful when I realized those two pounds could be muscle. I’ve been putting whey protein powder into my shakes after every workout, and I’m hoping that’s the cause for this weight gain. Otherwise, I have to change my diet even more, and I don’t know if my budget can afford healthier options at the moment.
Considering how horrible the last month has been on me, I’m making it a goal of mine to appreciate these positive days. There were times in the past few weeks where I seriously considered taking my own life in a very impulsive way, and I don’t like it when I’m like that. Those are the times where alcohol both made me feel better and way, way worse. I need to appreciate all the wins I can because there will be days when things just won’t go my way. I have to believe that one bad day isn’t everything. The next day could turn out to be amazing.
The good days give us the ammo to combat the bad.