Mario Villalobos

Montana Is for Badasses

I have furniture. My aunt and I went to IKEA earlier tonight, and I bought everything I wanted but one bookcase. One thing I was worried about was if my car had enough space to fit all my furniture plus my boxes of books and other stuff. After tonight, I’m no longer worried. I will come back to Montana with everything I planned to bring back plus more that I didn’t even consider.

I left Montana almost five days ago, and in those five days, I’ve made many great memories, and I’ve experienced things I’m glad to have experienced. We went to the beach today, and it was such a beautiful day. One thing that I thought was funny was how cold everyone seemed to be. It was in the mid-50s, people! Mid. 50s. It was sunny, the sky was clear, and the weather was beautiful. People were wearing beanies, jackets, even blankets. It was ridiculous. Montana really is for badasses.

Tomorrow I find out what’s up with my car. I wanted to leave tomorrow so I can make it sometime around Saturday. Then I’d have Sunday to rest and build all my furniture. I’m afraid the mechanic will tell me that he’ll have to spend a few days fixing my car, pushing my return until later. That’s the worst case scenario I foresee happening. The best case is that he fixes it quickly, and I can leave sometime tomorrow afternoon. Driving toward the snow this time around has me a bit more worried than when I drove away from it on Sunday.

I used to love the first day of the new year. I loved wiping the grime from the previous year and reveling at the cleanliness of the year ahead. It was brand new; anything was possible. But that promise for something better always โ€” always โ€” ended in failure because I never learned to create the habits necessary to live the life I wanted. Most of life is lived automatically. We don’t think through our actions. We just do. We live mindlessly, and that’s how I used to live every 1st of January. I’m different now, though. I worked hard to create new habits that are now automatic I don’t even think about them. Every time the sun sets and the day gets darker, I instinctively know that I have to write about my day, my thoughts, and my life. Every morning when I wake up, I know that I have to write my novel. And I’ve learned to listen to my body that I learned to recognize when I just ate some shitty food. I usually just feel fat, even if I didn’t gain any weight. Unfortunately, I’ve felt like this for a few days now, but that was expected.

This vacation has been fun. I’m glad I was able to break up my routine for a week to have some fun, make some memories, and share it all with the people I love. Some of them read this blog, so to them, I say I love you.