Regroup and Refocus

Tomorrow I’m going to try to eek out every last ounce of productivity I can get from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I’ve been too complacent and lazy these past couple of weeks, and I’m, frankly, fed up with it. I know I’ve written about this a lot only to fail quietly and without any fanfare, but I really hope to change things tomorrow. The few things I’m planning to do is working out, eating better, and reading more. I don’t plan to write yet because I’m in the middle of fire season, and I don’t want to gain momentum only to lose it once I’m called out on a fire. And I don’t feel ready to tackle the rewrite of my novel yet. So many other areas of my life need work and attention before I should delve right into the biggest project of my life.

I cleaned up my phone, my iPad, and my Mac really nicely, and I like the simplicity and focus of it. I deactivated my Facebook account today. I’ve done it many times in the past, but every time I reactivate it, I feel like quitting it again. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the waste of time it is, its addictiveness, its futility, or something else, but I don’t like it. Granted, I do have that twitch to check it every few minutes, especially when I turn on my phone, but that’s just something I have to slowly control. I’m re-starting Max: 30 again tomorrow. I’m going to go until I’m called out on a fire, and then I’m going to start over again. I’m going to stop starting over once I go through both months without an interruption. While I’m doing that, I’m going to figure out how else to be healthy and fit by doing a lot of research and watching a lot of videos and trying out a lot of things. This needs to be my new lifestyle, and I have to do all the work to make it so.

I haven’t set my alarm for 5 AM for a long, long time, but today I set it again to 5 AM. It’s back to start the day early and well. Instead of writing, though, I’m going to read. That’s why I subscribed to the New Yorker magazine, to read it every morning with a hot cup of coffee and the whole day ahead of me. It’s also why I have so many books, to read them while I can. And since I’m no longer packing my mornings with tasks, like transcribing a book and meditating, I can spend more of it reading, and simply getting a lot of that done in the beginning of the day so I can spend the rest of it trying to live healthily. I’ve also been thinking of writing at night, but I will start experimenting with that later.

For now, I have to regroup and refocus on being the best me I can be. Ever since April, when shit hit the fan, I haven’t been myself. It’s time to buckle up, stop being such a pussy, and get on with it. Hoorah.