Mario Villalobos

The Penultimate Entry

I’m high right now. So fucking high.

Today was my niece’s sixth birthday party. I’m writing this after that whole ordeal, where mostly my sister’s husband’s family came over and gave my nice a whole lotta shit she doesn’t really need (says the guy who just yesterday went on a shopping spree). She’s a bit spoiled, but she’s turning out okay. I didn’t get her anything. Does that make me a bad uncle? Probably.

I was finally able to see where my brother lives and how he lives. Turns out, not bad. He’s made a pretty good life for himself after the first few years there not knowing how life would turn out for him. It looks like he’s very comfortable and that he eats. That’s always important. He lives very nearby, too, so if something bad ever happens, I’m right there for him.

I never smoked that much weed in my life. Everything got dizzy and I didn’t think I was going to be able to walk back into the kitchen (because we smoked outside) in a straight line. The music sounded so good and the conversation was actually pretty interesting. I forgot what the hell— oh, I remember: politics. My sister’s husband hates hates hates the government, and we were talking about Obamacare, and everything just went to shit. Luckily, someone suggested we play One Night, and so we did, and we had a lot of fun.

I didn’t thinK I was going to be able to drive home, but I somehow managed to, and now I’m in bed writing this. I’m still kind of high, so I have no idea how I’m not dead yet. Part of me kinda feels like what I’m doing now isn’t real. Is that funny?

This is my penultimate entry, and I’m high and a little bit drunk. And it was my niece’s sixth birthday party. What the fuck is wrong with me?

What have I learned after doing this project for 364 straight days? I’m glad I was able to keep it going during firefighting season because I know how tough it is to keep any semblance of real life going during fire season. I’m so much better off now than when I first started. I didn’t have a job, I was too hung up on Zharelle Edwards, I was sad and depressed and hated myself every time I drank. And now I can drink and get high and still love myself. That’s so much progress. I also have a finished novel to my name, and entirely new home compared to last year, all my books and so many more, I’m a squad boss in firefighting, I have a great job with great co-workers, and I performed Insanity for over 200 days. This was a great year. And it all comes to an end tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be my last entry on this blog for a while. My Squarespace account expires in a few days, and I think my blog will be offline then. I’m working on transferring it over into a WordPress blog, but I have no timetable on that. So I may be saying goodbye tomorrow. If I will, then I hope I’m not too high.