Mario Villalobos

Stoicism

Bahala Na

  • Notes

Bahala na, as taught to Jenny Odell by an artist born in the Philippines, is a Tagalog phrase that translates to “whatever happens, happens”:

That may sound resigned or passive, and indeed, an American psychologist argued in the 1960s that the attitude described by bahala na had similarities with American fatalism. But when the Filipino psychologist Alfredo Lagmay interviewed people around Manila about its usage, a more interesting picture emerged. What he found was a “positive, functional response to uncertainty,” something that meant meeting the present with everything you had at your disposal, a sharp-eyed sallying forth even when you didn’t feel totally prepared or in control. It was a form of acceptance that was actually the opposite of giving up because acceptance was the beginning of observation and response.

Jenny Odell, an author I love, continues to describe bahala na in a way that’s similar to what I’ve learned in my recent adventures with Zen and Stoicism:

Both declinism — the belief that the past was better and the future will be worse, and blind optimism — the belief that the past was worse and the future is inevitably better — absolve us of our responsibility to act now, in this gap between the past and future. In contrast, the improvisational spirit lives inside that gap, and it can be surprisingly full of ingenuity and joy even when the situation is dire. As something we share with our nonhuman brethren, the capacity to form new responses is how you know you’re alive, today, here. So when my mum says, “whatever happens, happens,” what I hear is not resignation but a mix of humility, trust, and curiosity. And I think it’s like this — through love of the present, and of ourselves in it — that we actually win the future.

All we have is now. The past and the future don’t exist, now. We live now. I don’t know how else to describe it. The present moment is the only moment that matters; life is made of the present moment. To live well, live now.

No Perfect Days

  • Notes

To continue with some of my feelings from yesterday, I have to admit that something I missed (forgot?) is that perfection does not exist. I wanted to live perfectly, to do every. little. thing. I consider to be part of a “perfect” day/life without fail, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t push myself because my willpower was running on empty, and again, I just couldn’t do it.

Nor do I have to.

I have to remember that. I have to ingrain that in my head somehow so I don’t ever forget it. Being this hard on myself is unsustainable, and intellectually, I know this, but… my neurosis can be overfuckingwhelming sometimes.

I have to be kind to myself. I have to remember that I’m not a robot, that

I have and will continue to burn out if I keep trying to accomplish everything.

Go slow. Go with the flow. Breathe. Pay attention and be mindful of the world in front of me. This is all we get. This is all we have. Enjoy it and don’t try to speed through everything.

Remember to breathe. Remember that only this moment matters, not the next one, not the next breath but this breath. Now is what matters and now can never be perfect because it just is.

So just be.

One Thing at a Time

  • Notes

We’re three weeks into the new year, and I needed to write this reminder to myself:

I have to take things one thing at a time. I can’t overload my days with tasks and projects in an effort to “maximize” my time as “efficiently” as possible. I’m not a robot. I have and will continue to burn out if I keep trying to accomplish everything.

Go slow. Go with the flow. Breathe. Pay attention and be mindful of the world in front of me. This is all we get. This is all we have. Enjoy it and don’t try to speed through everything. I won’t read every book or listen to every piece of music or watch every movie and TV show. It’s okay. Enjoy what I have. Savor it. Because one day this will all end and on that day, how will you have felt about how you lived your life?

Proud, I hope. And well-lived, too.

  • Notes

I try to be stoic with most things in life, as in, I try to only focus on the things I can actually control, but goddamn, sometimes life just wears me down so much. I was feeling down already this week, but then the universe just piles on more shit and more shit that it feels like the universe is just having a laugh at my expense now.

But what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger, right?

  • Notes

I came across this beautiful quote by Seneca:

There is no enjoying the possession of anything valuable unless one has someone to share it with.

At the start of 2020, a friend tried setting me up with a friend of hers. But then lockdown happened. Maybe things will change in 2021…

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