Day 94: Earn it
One of the best things about working out is the meal that comes afterwards. I always like sitting down on my chair, a plate full of food I cooked myself in front of me, and that feeling of accomplishment that pervades throughout my body. I earned this. And then I dig in, and the food always disappears faster than I would like, but that’s okay. I know I’m doing something right for my body, and my body has rewarded me with more happiness, more energy, and more confidence. These rewarding feelings never seem to be on my mind before or during my workouts, and I don’t know why I don’t let that motivate me when the simple act of doing it doesn’t.
I didn’t want to workout today. I delayed it much later than I should’ve, and then during the beginning of the workout, I just wasn’t feeling it. Disregarding the pain on my right foot, I didn’t feel like pushing myself today. I didn’t mind working out; it was just the fact that, knowing myself, I would be unsatisfied if I didn’t give it my all. A big reason why I hate the fit tests1 is because I already pushed myself in the beginning, and I know I have to push myself later because I need to see those numbers improve or else I’ll feel like I failed. So in the beginning of my workout today, I pushed through the pain and my own weariness and worked out until I slipped on my own sweat that pooled on the floor. My muscles ached, my right foot hurt, and a big ol’ smile formed on my face once the workout ended. I was done, I was tired, but I felt good.
I don’t know if there’s a secret here that I can impart to you guys. Just do what needs to be done. I know if I didn’t work out today, I would break a promise with myself, not to mention my 70+ day streak I’ve accumulated. I know that the rest of my day would be shrouded in failure and guilt, and since I know what that feels like far too well, I did not and do not want to live through that, especially since I’m in control of my own destiny. And I know that if I didn’t workout, I wouldn’t have earned my food or my rest. I haven’t had trouble sleeping in a long, long time because I try to earn them. Trying to live a life of integrity is hard but worth it.
Nothing in life is free. I like it that way. I’m not there yet, but I want to look at all my possessions and know I earned all of them. I want to pick up this object or look at this piece of furniture and feel the joy each items brings me because I know I earned it. I want to look back on my life and know that I’ve earned each and every day, and that each of these days helped me get where I am today. I want to earn today, and I want to earn my life. It’s not easy, but it is fun.
All because I didn’t want to workout today.
In Insanity, before you start the workout, you do a fit test, which is a series of exercises that you perform for a minute each. You try to max out on your reps and write them down. At the end of the workout, you repeat the fit test and see how much you improved.↩