Sat November 29th, 2014

Day 83: Rest day

I’ve been spending the past few days in bed and resting. I’ve left my house only twice: on Thursday for Thanksgiving dinner, and today to buy some groceries. Other than going to the bathroom, working out, making food, and writing in the mornings, I’ve spent my holiday break in bed watching television and reading. It’s been marvelous. I’ve been beating up my body too much for the past few weeks, and even though I’ve been working out harder than I ever have for over two months now, my body still gets sore, and I still need rest to recover. Tomorrow I do my Fit Test, which means I will be completing my 30 day Insanity/Insanity: the Asylum Volume 1 hybrid workout. That’s over 60 days of Insanity done. On Monday, I start Volume 2 of the Asylum, and from the looks of it, it’s going to be even tougher than what I’m used to. So again, I need all the rest I can get.

I’ve been doing what I kind of made fun of before, and that’s binge watching a television show on Netflix. That show is Scandal, and it hooked me in its pilot episode. I’m kind of embarrassed that I’ve been spending a lot of my time watching a television show — granted, a really good television show — instead of checking tasks off my todo list. I have two types of tasks, those are due and those that aren’t due but I’d like to get done today. I’ve been checking off the due items and totally neglecting the deferred ones. I’m okay with that because I know come Monday, come the first of December, the first day of a new month, I’m going to get back to work.

I needed a break. I needed some time off. I needed to rest and have some fun. To me, watching television is fun. It’s also very lonely. I chose to look through my journal yesterday because I was wondering how to start writing the three things I’m grateful for that I said I was going to do a few days ago. I was considering writing them down in one of three notebooks or in one of two apps. I skimmed through my journal because I was curious how different my personal entries were from my blog entries. And I fell down a rabbit hole of my own creation. Those entries were brutal to read, and it brought back memories I purposely tried to let go of since starting this blog. I miss her, but that’s natural. I just have to fill the void she left with someone else. And that can be fun, once I let myself get there. When that’ll be, I don’t know.

I still haven’t figured out where to write the three things I’m most grateful that happened to me today, and that’s one of the tasks I’ve pushed until tomorrow. I’ll be fine once I figure it out. In the meantime, I’m listening to some Sigur Rós, feeling good about seeing my words up on my screen, and very eager to get back to watching one more episode of Scandal. It’s a good show. Did I mention that?


year one


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Day 82: 1% I went back and read entries from my journal I wrote earlier this year. They date from April to July of this year, and I didn’t realize how much
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Day 84: Acceptance I like to daydream. I like envisioning a life where I’m the man I want to be, with the life I want to have, with the girl I want to love. I like