The Insanity hybrid workout is kicking my ass. I think I sprained my left shoulder and right foot during my workout today. I, maybe unwisely, workout barefoot, and Insanity demands a lot from my feet. From running in place to jumps to more jumps to even more jumps, my feet have taken a pounding for the past two months and during that time, I’ve only taken a handful of days off to recover. I don’t want to take any days off unless I have to, and if I have to fight through the pain, I will. What does that say about me?

I’ve never been more focused with anything like I am now with my life and how I want to live it. Pain is part of the game 1, and I just have to fight through it. What I want out of life will never be given to me, and I genuinely believe that I have to fight for every little bit of it. I want to be healthy, but I want to look and feel the best I’ve ever felt, too. I finally lost some weight this past week2, and I really think I’ve never looked this good before. But I can be better.

I want to be a professional writer, which means making my living writing. I have to write more every day, though. I’m over 17,000 words into my novel, and I really enjoy what I have now, but part of me feels like most of it is crap. I want to be a better writer, and I’ve had that desire for a long time. That’s why I started to transcribe the Great Gatsby by hand, just to know what it’s like to write a good novel3. That desire is also partly why I started this blog. I just know the best way to get better at writing is by writing.

Finally, I want to know how to live the best life I possibly can. To do that, I have to study philosophy. Back in college, I wanted so much to minor — maybe even major — in philosophy, but the curriculum for the minor required that I stay another year in school, and that was something I couldn’t and didn’t want to do. So I didn’t satisfy that desire then. Now that I’m older, though, I learned that I can get a better education outside of college than in it by simply pushing myself to read tough books and think critically about subjects that interest me. There’s so much I still don’t know, but I’m super eager to learn more. That means reading so many books and stopping to think about them deeply and critically. In this area, I can definitely be better.

I need to be better at so many things, and I’m so happy that I’m working at it everyday. So much joy is coursing through my body right now that I wish I could share it with everyone. It feels great, and I want to be great.

  1. Ha, that rhymed. 

  2. 1.6 lbs since last week. I’ve decided to stop using whey protein powder because I bought it from Walmart, and I’m done with Walmart forever. Also because I’m trying something new, but that won’t come in the mail for another few days. 

  3. I just purchased the print version of A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway off of Amazon, and that will be the next book I transcribe once I finish the Great Gatsby.