I’m about half way through Month 2 of Insanity Max: 30, and I believe I hit a plateau this week. All of my times are improving from last week’s workouts, which is a good sign of progress, but I’m not pushing myself as hard as I should. My weight has remained steady for weeks now, and I seem to look about the same, too. I’ve plateaued, and I don’t know what it’ll take for me to move past this. That’s partly because I’m okay with where I am right now. I look good, I feel good, and all in all, I’m doing good in all facets of my life. I have no drive to push myself past the breaking point, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

I don’t want to slow down. I don’t feel like slowing down, and that’s a good thing. I don’t feel burnt out; in fact, I feel super motivated to keep pushing myself harder and harder. But that’s mostly toward my writing and not my health. My health has been a constant during this journey, and it’s one of those things that has outplayed its novelty factor and has turned into this thing I just do. Insanity is fun, and I love Shaun T1 yelling at me to keep pushing myself, but I’m not. Not really. Again, I’m happy with where I am, and these workouts just feel like maintenance. My weight’s steady, my progress is steady, and my mood is content. Don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to stop working out, though, not even for a little bit. That week I took off last month when I was sick really showed me how much I need to work out. I remember feeling like working out the day after my first off-day, but since I was still sick, I didn’t. Working out fuels the rest of my life. If I didn’t work out, I don’t think I’d have this fire to make myself the best writer I can be. What might be happening is that this fire is a finite resource, and I’ve just shifted it over from working out toward writing. That’s actually a very comforting thought, and one I’m going to tell myself and believe now. Who knows? Maybe one day being the best writer I possibly can be will be one of those things I just do.

I don’t know what it’ll take for me to break through this plateau. I know the way I’ve beaten them before was by pushing harder until my progress returned and I could start seeing and feeling the results again. I don’t know if that’ll work this time. At least not as easily as “pushing harder.” That’s a given. I have to push harder. I also need to want it more than I want anything, and right now, I want to be the best writer I possibly can and not be in even greater shape because I’m already at the best shape of my life. It sucks, but it’s true.

I’m in don’t regress mode, and for now, I’m okay with that. I just know I won’t be forever. And that’s one thing I love and hate about myself. I have to keep moving my feet.

  1. Shaun T actually has a podcast out now, and it’s really good. It’s actually one of must-listen to shows I subscribe to. Highly recommended.